why do interviews do this. uncontrolled, judgement. how many more will i need to learn to be above it. to let them take the wheel with the director in the passenger seat. ahh phooey.
were you actively involved in sports activities when you were younger? how would you describe your relationships with your peers and family? what is your religion? tell me more about some of your hobbies and the things you like to do. which shows or movies fascinate you? what are some of your goals in life?
how do i find a psych journal? that and way much more. i'll start right now.
i can. profile.
i would've given you all of my heart but there's someone who's torn it apart and he's taken just all that i had.
perfection at 3:00 PM
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Monday, April 28, 2008
there are so many things we can make ourselves do. the word is "make".
grads high tea. and it is done.
its unbelievable that i'm actually taking a constructive step towards forensics. i'm not sure about the exact path i'm about to take. or where i'll end up. given the opportunity dips in so many places. but i'm stoked. looking forward to the destination.
best you've got to be the best you've got to change the world and use this chance to be heard your time is now.
perfection at 2:58 PM
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008
"I have no friend, Margaret: when I am glowing with the enthusiasm of success, there will be none to participate in my joy; if I am assailed by disappointment, no one will endeavour to sustain me in dejection. I shall commit my thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling.
I desire the company of a man who could sympathise with me, whose eyes would reply to mine. You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend. I have no one near me, gentle yet courageous, possessed of a cultivated as well as of a capacious mind, whose tastes are like my own, to approve of or amend my plans. How would such a friend repair the faults of your poor brother!"
Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein". isnt it so tastefully penned? little wonder its deemed an evergreen classic.
spoon-feeds = brain turning to mush.
the autumn leaves drift by my window the autumn leaves of red and gold the sunburnt hands i used to hold.
perfection at 12:20 PM
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Sunday, April 20, 2008
falling sick. must be the kids at the centre.
can someone be so drawn to a sport this way. be enthralled by every aspect of it. technique, game play, psyche. is it possible to feel the game like its part of your being. how every stroke is but another pulse of blood through your veins. and every lunge, like another breath drawn. this is what badminton is to me. something natural, instinctive, comforting. an implicit acceptance. love.
first driving lesson on tuesday. though i'd prefer to be driven.
waiting on a sunday afternoon for what i read between the lines your lies.
perfection at 4:17 PM
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Friday, April 18, 2008
so this is what an unchallenging routine does to your self. bless me then.
one can only stay submissive for so long. i'm changing maids again.
what isnt a cry for love. is a cry for dependence. no worries though. the line's barely visible.
yes, i've finally gotten back to my pen. slowly, i promise.
enough of idealization. enough.
the slip that brought me to my knees, failed what if all these fantasies come flailing around now i've said too much.
perfection at 3:49 PM
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Thursday, April 10, 2008
the whole cooking thing's getting to me. and so is "criminal minds".
what goes on beneath. i can only imagine.
it has been so long. what constitutes having lost content. asleep, or a grateful traveller from his homeland. must i do what all great muses do. take off, or switch slants?
i'm not sure. whether eating four oranges a day will kill me.
not there just yet. i cant do it, the aspect most adored. truly, i'd love to. dont let it hold you back though. thats how harsh it can get. not me, not yet.
in passion and silence every word, every line a measure its the science of the soul and his books, they breathe a reason and now i want to know.
perfection at 3:55 PM
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Sunday, April 06, 2008
Lionel Shriver's "Double Fault". an insightful, wrenching and intense book of reflection. as a competitive badminton player, i would understand. Yet a good player hits with the illusion of making no decisions at all. Compacted into a split second, all that geometry, game memory and espionage condensed into gut, spontaneous instinct.
yet another creative-streak challenge. though unrequired, novelty remains appreciated. those who settle, see no improvement. those who stretch, a bestowed breakthrough.
You laid aside your majesty. gave up everything for me. suffered at the hands of those You have created. You took away my guilt and shame. when You died and rose again. now today You reign in heaven and earth exalted.
i really wanna worship You, my Lord. You have won my heart and i am Yours. forever and ever, i will love You. You're the only one who died for me. gave Your life to set me free. so i lift my voice to You in adoration.
twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved how precious did that grace appear the hour i first believed.
perfection at 6:03 PM
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Thursday, April 03, 2008
my reason for a late post. university applications.
give a boy a bag of building blocks. and he'll build you a car or spaceship of some sort. give that to a girl. and she'll build you a house. this is our fundamental difference. my first argument against equality of the sexes.
my room looks real pretty in the morning.
angry angry angry. i won something from mtv again, but it got forfeited. just cause i dont check my gmail account regularly. nee-ner nee-ner nee-ner.
big and spiteful. thats how easy we get over it.
we cant go on together with suspicious minds and we cant build our dreams on suspicious minds because i love you too much, baby.
perfection at 2:50 PM
theJOURNEY.
theTUNES.
what sing you.
theMUSICIAN.
dania
st nicks
anderson
nus
trinity christian centre
